I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
