Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
