Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
