You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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