I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
