haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
