omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
