I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
