She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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