I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
