All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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