Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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