I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
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I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
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I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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