we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
