he wants to bone in the snuggie
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
