Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
third nipple confirmed
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I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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