Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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