I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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