I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
