Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
