I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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