everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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