? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
