my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
