She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
