I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
