if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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