can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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