my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
