we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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