wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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