I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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