Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
