he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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