Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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