you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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