Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
