Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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