am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the day after is always just damage control
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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