So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
