oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My balls are so social today.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
