i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
