the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
