help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize