She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
