Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
