He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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