I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
