You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
