When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
