Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
