My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We talked him into tasing himself.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
