Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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