I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
