so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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