my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
