Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
