I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I am one with the molecules
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
