so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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