he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
