Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
