Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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